- When providing care for a loved one, remember not to assume responsibility for meeting those needs that they are able to meet without your assistance. Do not do for them what they can do for themselves. This is demeaning and keeps them dependent on you.
- Wise caregivers know that they are not responsible for their care receiver’s feelings. When they are happy, it is not due to some action on your part; when they are sad, it is not your fault. Caregivers recognize that their behavior affects their care receiver, but they know it is their reaction to the caregiver’s behavior that produces their feelings; therefore, they do not assume responsibility for the care receivers emotions.
- A good caregiver makes no demands on the behavior of the care receiver. When their behavior is less than optimal, they do not get upset. They know that the care receiver’s behavior is up to them.
- Caregivers do not manipulate their care receivers into doing things as they advise. When things go well, they recognize that it is not always due to the efforts of the caregivers; and when things go badly, it is not the fault of the caregiver. The care receiver has the freedom to make their own mistakes and the caregiver is not to take the blame for their mistakes.
- Excellent caregivers do not focus so much on the needs of their care receivers that their own needs are neglected. Caregivers need to stay aware of their own needs and try to get them met in order to have more time, energy, and patience for my care receiver.
- Caregivers do not see their care receivers as extension of themselves. By maintaining the boundaries between them, they are able to see their care receiver as they really are.